Why Can't We Be Friends?

Sometimes I don't speak right, alright

Social media, Facebook especially, is such a strange collision of worlds. Family, close friends, close friends when you were in 8th grade, co-workers from four jobs ago. You add people as you go and some last, others don't. Sometimes it's a great place. Like seeing kids I photographed as high school seniors who are now paving their way in the world some 15 years later. The ubiquitous back to school and last day of school pictures. The announcements of pregnancies, engagements, new jobs, etc. And sometimes, the personal dramas make their way to your page and while you don't want bad things to happen to anyone, you secretly sit along the sidelines with your popcorn (you do it, don't even lie).

But then there are times when the world caves in and everyone scatters to their side. Most will probably stay quiet, which is fine. Some are loud and proud.. also fine. For me, I have posting anxiety when it comes to anything political or "controversial". Since the dawn of Facebook, I have probably wrote and deleted thousands of posts. I have a lot to say and a lot of opinions but have always figured the risk of posting those is greater than taking a stand on anything. What am I risking? Nothing, really. A few people get mad, maybe, write a mean comment.. or at worst (or best), they unfriend me. But as a girl who wants everyone to like her, it's been too daunting of a task. Note: I have definitely posted on politics before, not saying I don't... gives me heartburn nearly every time.

If you truly know me, you know I am very vocal on politics. In this landscape, it's truly hard not to be. Over the last year, my health took precedence over Trump being elected again and the subsequent fun that has gone on since January 20; I didn't post really anything at all. I honestly was going to shut up this time, too. Because in the ultimate scheme of things, a bigoted podcaster died. In a country where violent death, by guns in particular, is a daily occurrence, seems par for the course. But somehow he is now the poster boy for political violence (the bad kind) and his racism, homophobia, xenophobia (and on and on) are just "political beliefs".

I'm not too surprised our esteemed (ha) leader has deigned it as a day to be memorialized, with flags at half mast. That's just who he is. I am surprised that so many of my "friends" have decided this particular event was the time to dust off their keyboard and get outraged. What is it about this man that makes this murder so egregious as compared to actual lawmakers and their families being gunned down in their own home. Or the countless children that will see their friends die in a similar, horrific manner, up close and personal. I understand that happens so often we can't post on it each time, but seriously?

While I think what happened is horrific, it's very weird to grieve someone so passionately who said he was okay with this happening. HE said that. "I think it’s worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the second amendment to protect our other God-given rights. That is a prudent deal. It is rational." He is a victim of his own ideology. And he would be saying that right now if it was a left wing talking head He would be saying that right now if he had lived long enough to hear about the school shooting happening simultaneously with his own.

In my post, I called him a "literal nazi", which is strong wording and ruffled some feathers. I did edit this, not to placate anyone, but because it is technically wrong. The fascism is the same but I don't think he was a card carrying member. I'm also not going to belittle his impact on marginalized communities by calling him simply a "loser content creator". He had a huge following and shaped a lot of really horrible narratives that most likely created more followers. He said objectively awful things about a lot of communities of people. I'm not sure why we are splashing his picture all over the place and speaking kind words. I understand the outrage about the act itself, I don't understand propping up bigots to make the point.

And no, I don't think violence is the answer to anything. We should not have to live in a country where this happens to anyone. But we can't pick and choose which violence is good and bad. We can't hold one death above others. If you withhold your empathy and your public outcries until it's someone who looks like you or believes the same things you do, then you are part of the problem. Saying "can't we all get along" while cheering for the likes of Trump and his ilk, is just fucking weird, man.

So, I posted and it will probably happen again. I lost friends I frankly didn't know I still had. I was told "I'm the problem" (little ole me?). So be it. I sit back entirely too often and wring my hands and worry about what might happen if I say my piece. Life is so fucking short, stand for what you believe in. And, of course, if what you believe in is what Charlie Kirk believes in, go ahead and yell it for all to hear. Loud and proud. To the roof. You have every right. Just know we don't have a "difference of opinion", we are on completely opposite ends of the moral spectrum.

Social media isn’t neutral ground; it never has been. It’s a mirror of who we are, and I’d rather mine reflect honesty than silence. If that costs me a few numbers on my friends list, well, that's just math. I'll be fine. I’d rather stand loud and clear on the side of human dignity than sit quietly to make bigots comfortable.